Prognosis : Success!

If you live in Brisbane, hopefully you have heard about the success of Impro Mafia's latest production "Prognosis : Death!". This show is a fully improvised play where the audience comes up with the nature of the threat that threatens the town of St Love. It is 'Scrubs' mashed with the 'X-Files'. Each performance is a fully contained episode of 'Prognosis : Death!' but some show cross over occurs to reward the audience members who have come to more than one performance. A a fast paced, comedy full of adults themes, invasive medical procedures, supernatural shenanigans, buckets of blood and simmering sexual tension!

It has been described in reviews as similar to "Let the Blood Run Free" (if you are an older audience member) or "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace" (If you are one of the beautiful young things)

The show has had excellent audiences for its first three perfomances (average of 50+ a night).



The cast above (left to right) - David as Dr Burton Mangold, Natalie as Nurse Lottie Buble, Luke as Medical Superintendent Harold Dean, Michael as The Mummy Amon-Ra, Wade as Reverend Jeremy Thistlewaite, our excellent musician Kris, Dan as Dr Ludwig LeStrange and Amy as Dr Melody Carmicheal (Intern).

The recap of each show should whet your appetite for our last few performances!

Episode 1 - "St Love and the Itty Bitty Vampire Kitty Committee"

St Love Hospital fell under the dark power of a Vampire Kitten! The Kitten had been buried in the Indian Burial Ground Pet Cemetery and had clawed its way back to the land of the living looking for blood!. Many of the staff at St Love Hospital fell to its lolcat claws, forever transformed into Vampire Kitties! Reverend Thistlewaite rediscovered his lost faith just in time to smite the vampire kittens with his very heavy bible.



Episode 2 - "St Love and the Portrait of Madness"

Medical Superintendent Harold Dean was desperate for funds for his hospital so he ordered a Hospital Jumble Sale. Little did he know that the local crime boss "Glasses McGee" has hidden a 500 year old possessed painting in the basement. The Crime boss was scared that the local superhero "The Leggy Avenger" would reclaim his booty. Little did he realise that The Leggy Avenger was none other than St Love's Nurse Lottie Buble! Harold Dean was driven mad by the possessed painting - killing off the staff of St Love one by one. Egged on by the possessed painting Medical Superintendent Harold Dean almost killed all the staff but finally he, and the painting, were stopped by the powerful crotch kicks of The Leggy Avenger and her new sidekick Footsie!

Episode 3 - "St Love and the Curse of Osiris"

Dr Ludwig LeStrange, taking a sabbatical from the hospital to pursue his hobby of archaeology, accidentally disturbed the remains of a 5000 year old Mummy by removing its brain and taking it back to St Love Hospital. As fate would have it he had to use the brain in a transplant to save his old sidekick "Minky". With the brain of the Pharaoh Amon-Ra and the youthful body of Minky the Mummy went looking for a living bride. A Plague of Chicken (singular) and a Plague of Blood (most definitely plural!) were visited on St Love Hospital. The Mummy slaughtered his way through the hospital but it did finally find a bride, Dr Melody Carmichael!. The young Melody was quite smitten by her exotic new husband but was disturbed to discover he had no genitals due to a tragic lion related accident thousands of year ago. The Mummy and his bride were content to leave the hospital in peace forever but they were bravely smote by Dr Burton Mangold and his anti-eczema Sorbelene cream.

Remember, all story suggestions are taken from the audience. The entire hour long performance is 'off the cuff' and unscripted.

What will happen in the next episode of "Prognosis : Death!"?

You will have to come to the Brisbane Arts Theatre to find out!

Running Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays
January 22 to 31.
8pm
Special low price! $15 adults/$10 concessions.
Bookings: 3369 2344
210 Petrie Terrace, Brisbane

A Very Dalek Christmas

Ho Ho EXTERMINATE!

Below are some pictures of the Xmas Dalek here at Chez Clumsy.


May you all have a very Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.

Also.. only two more sleeps to The Next Doctor!



Keep in eye on www.girlclumsy.com to see the continual painful adventures of the one and only GirlClumsy!

Wah-ducation and The Beatles

How are The Beatles like The Wah's university education?

Two down and two to go.

Beatles = members
Wah = years

booyah!

Where's your messiah now?

As of 15 minutes ago I officially have lived longer than Jesus.

The Wah - 1 / Son of God - 0

Take that, God!

Building Better Beings

The computer game 'Spore' will be released in under a week. Below are some of the creatures I have created for the game.



I believe Spore could be one of the best 'God' games ever produced. Here's to abnormally high expectations ;)

Home

Well... I'm home

The vehicle i came home in was a bit rickety but got me there eventually... (the pilot was a bit of a dummy)



I was in a fight with a couple of total Clankers...



but i did make a new man's best friend on the way...---

To be honest, I am not that keen on being back.. ah well

Girlclumsy is still out and about in Edinburgh and having more fun than all of us put together working for and performing at the Edinburgh Comedy Fringe Festival. Keep an eye out on what she's up to here

Why it sucks to be you

Harsh words in the title of this blog, eh?

Yet, it is true.

You may think everything is going swimmingly but it still sucks to be you.

You may have recently fallen in love.
You may have be given a big fat promotion at work.
You may have paid off your house.
You may have booked your world wide holiday.
You may have bought a puppy.
You may have discovered you are pregnant.
You may have gotten the tests back and it IS just a mole.
You may have finally gotten the accident insurance money.
You may have driven home in your new Bugatti Veyron.
You may have been elected in a massive voter landslide.
You may have completed your tertiary education with excellent marks.
You may have eaten the best sandwich in your entire life

...but it still sucks to be you..



... For you see... If you at not one of the audience at the Royal Shakespeare Company's version of Hamlet at the Courtyard Theatre tomorrow then it sucks to be you.

Starring an excellent cast, such as Patrick Stewart as Claudius and David Tennant as The Dane, this is going to be one of the best nights of theatre I have ever been a part of.

We have all done pretty amazing things in our lives, I am sure...

...But if you are not in the crowd tonight at Stratford-Upon-Avon...

...well... its sucks to be you.

The Doctor and The Wah

Greetings from sunny Glasgow!

I could write a blog post about Scotland and England fighting for hundreds of years.

I could write a blog post about the thousands of historical sites scattered across this tiny country.

I could write a blog post about my sister and my brother-in-law

Buuuuuut... this blog is about something REEEEEALLY important.

The TARDIS on Buchanan Street in the centre of Glasgow!




I'll always be here to keep you up to date with the important items from around the U.K!

Keep an eye on Girlclumsy's blog for more videos!

You have to travel the world to meet your neighbour

Mljet (Milyet) is a charming little coastal town on the Adriatic sea. We are anchored here tonight to taste the local Pivo (beer) and listen to our captain and crew play Croatian songs.

It has been an amazing couple of days here on the Tarin.


The Captain of the Tarin (also a fabulous accordian player) owns her as well. He spends his time in around the Dalmatian Coast for the summer working with Busabout hauling tourists (mainly Australians) around. In the winter he works his way north taking German/Austrian tourists around the north Adriatic... it is an amazing life.

But I am not here to talk about the amazing holiday in which I find myself... great thought it is ;)

What I do want to talk to about is the people you meet when on holidays.

I used to live in Bowen. 200 km north of Mackay and 200 km south of Townsville FNQ (Far North Queensland). Tonight my sister and I discovered two Bowen boys on the boat moored next to ours.

We couldn't believe it! They lived in the same shitty town about 10 years after we left it! In all my years of travel I have never met another Bowenite. It gets stranger still. These two lads lived in 54 Whitsunday St. (Go Google Earth it.. i can wait). I used to live across the the road in 51 Whitsunday St! They have played in the house I grew up in! Weeeeeeird! They have had Mr Shields as a teacher! He was my (and their) science teacher. Mr Shields is the reason I want to be a science teacher. The fact he is still alive and teaching blew my mind...

Anyhoo.. It is amazing how far you have to run to hear stories about a place you used to call home.
Enjoy the picture of the Croatian Flag and the wonderful Adriatic Sea. It will be hard to leave this lovely place.

So much horror in the recent past quickly washed away...

For videos of what we have been up to go to GirlClumsy's website. Shenanigans a-go-go!

Welcome to Wah Town

Greetings from Croatia...

sorry about the lack of posts but internet access has been few and far between.. and the small towns dotting the Adriatic have limited free wi-fi! (What is this.. early 2002?!??!)

Our Dalmatian Coast trip has been amazing. Great weather, great boat, fantastic food.. this trip has had it all. We have been onboard for three days and it has been a blur of swimming, eating, sleeping and drinking into the wee hours of the very short Croatian summer nights.

What can i say about Croatia and the Dalmatian Coast? It reminds me of the Greek Cyclades. These islands have everything the greek islands have except they havent quite worked out how to screw you for every Kuna. Where the greek islands where cock a block with tourists with nary a greek accent to be heard, every second person walking the quaint marbled backstreets is a native Croatian. These island towns are great places to relax and unwind and have fun.

As I type this I am sitting on the Riva of Hvar Town on the island of Hvar. Hvar is pronounced H-Wah... ya gotta love that ;) World Wide Wah indeed! It is a very odd feeling to sit in a very old school style marble dock watching the revelers move from bar to bar with a laptop on you knee. A blend of the old and new that i find rather delicious.

Our ship is the 'Tarin'. It is a lovely old refurbished ship. Girlclumsy and I have what can be called a stateroom at the bow of the ship. Hot running water and a comfy bed.. all is well in Wah Town. 'll post pictures as soon as i download them from the camera. If you can't wait then head on over to GirlClumsy's blog to see some great videos of our trip so far.

It is after midnight and the town is still pumping. Must run!

This is Wah Town... you are just visiting here :)

Fat and Sassy in Brunei

The couple of day stop in Brunei was a very interesting experience. We wee treated like the Sultan himself by the good people at Good Miles tours. Girlclumsy had talked them at 4BC when they came to promote Brunei a few weeks ago and they gave us the 'inspection tour'. This meant they pretended we were travel agents coming from overseas to check out their operation. In short this meant we went on tours to a water village, saw iguana and proboscus monkeys and are entirely for free! We felt like class traitors! GC and I see ourselves as rather daring backpackers poking our noses into the world's nook and crannies. In Brunei we became fat and sassy overlords being carted around in airconditioned comfort... and yes I could become use to it ;).



Brunei relies 95% on it's oil production and sales. It is a very rich nation. The sultan is one of the richest people in the world but unlike most rich rulers he does give a lot back to his people. Free education, health care, electricity, water, low interest loans for houses.. the list goes on. This guy is what i could call a Benevolent Dictator. Look, it isn't all bells and whistles but it is pretty good for the people in this country. Crime is incredibly low here.. and it isn't because of draconian laws and punishments.. as if that works anyway. It is because the people do not have to worry about whether they have a place to sleep and food to eat. If you have the basics for survival you don't need to rob some pasty white tourist. Something for our 'Screw-you-Jack-I'm-alright' mentality to think about.

The most amazing sight was the '29th' Mosque. Built by the current sultan (The 29th sultan of the one family since the 1300's) it is the second biggest mosque in the world.



Unlike Morocco, we were allowed to entire this mosque. It was a beautiful testament to the architectural cleverness of human beings. (heh.. if that isn't a comment from an atheist i don't know what is).

I can really really recommend Brunei as a day (or two day) stop when travelling from Australia. It reminds of Dubai before it went uber western. It is safe and moderately muslim. They don't care who you worship. In fact, while i was here I was offered alcohol by our hosts because 'Australians are big drinkers'... I was also offered 'other services' but I will say no more as this is a family rated site.

If you want to see other photos and videos of Brunei have a squiz at GirlClumsy's Blog.

The trip to London was easy. You sit, you watch movies, you eat, you sleep, you eat, you watch movies.. rinse and repeat.

We meet my sister and her husband today. Tomorrow it is off to Croatia!

Before I go I do have some sad news. Cassandra Puddleduck is no longer with us. Cassie was the family Irish Wolfhound who faithfully served our family for over a decade. She was gentle, kind and loving. A true lady. Her nick name was "Eileen' because she loved to lean against you.. and when a 60 kg Irish Wolfhound decides to lean on your leg you know about it. She was diagnosed with liver cancer 15 months ago and was given 1-3 months to live. She beat the odds for so long and was happy and healthy until a few days before she died. If you knew her then you know what a wonderful hound she was. I wish I had a picture I could put up here but I don't have any on the laptop. There is a movie called "The Truth about Cats and Dogs". I have no idea what the movie is about but someone once told me the truth about cats and dogs is that they die. I don't agree. I think the truth about cats and dogs is that they lived.

**edit**

Here is a picture of the lovely Cassie. More human than most humans I know. I will be forever a part of her pack

Travel makes the heart grow fonder

Tomorrow, Sunday 6th July, GirlClumsy and I set out on another of our world trekking trips. Nowhere near as ambitious as the last 6 month epic, this time we are away for 4 weeks. Well, I'm away for 4 weeks and GC is away for 5!

We are heading to Croatia to sail the Dalmatian Coast with my sister and my brother-in-law

We then scoot back to Scotland for a few days to recuperate.

Then its GC and me heading south attempting to see as many British heritage sights as we can. We have the excellent Great British Heritage pass and we intend to get out money's worth!

We stop at Stratford-Upon-Avon to visit Doctor Who.. um.. I mean see David Tennant in the Royal Shakespeare Company's production of Hamlet. I am very excited about this. GC is trying to get an interview with Mr Tennant... all professional and above board... honest!

Then we head back to London and I fly home to start semester two of uni but GirlClumsy wings her way back to Edinburgh to help the very talented Deborah Frances-White spruik her comedy show " "How to Get Almost Anyone to Want to Sleep With You" at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

All in all.. it is going to be an amazing few weeks.

What can you do to fill your endless days while I am away ;) Well, read this blog or GirlClumsy's Better blog!

You must also go to this year's "Off the Cuff" Improvised Comedy Festival at the Powerhouse! Run by ImproMafia this event will show the talent of some of the funniest people from Brisbane, Australia and the World!




Book as early as possible to get seats for these shows. They are going to be amazing and I am very jealous I will not be in the country to perform in them!

So you have impro awesomeness to watch and a couple of blogs to read. GirlClumsy are taking a laptop on our trek this time so we should be able to keep you all updated as we travel. GC tells me that video blogs are the communication de jour.. we shall see!

Happy Trails to everyone...

My thoughts are with the people and the furry people who need them now

"The Truth" is here!

He's Back!

Returning this weekend in a blue box and blue suit...



The Doctor!

and I am jiggly with excitement!

...and this isn't an April Fool's Day prank

The Truth

Vote Saxon

Smith and Jones

I don't blog unless I am travelling. I don't think the world needs more mundane drivel.

But I will blog for the greatest traveller of them all :)

Ladies and Gentlmen, Please be upstanding for the 3rd series of the new Doctor Who!. It has started in the U.K as of 31st of March and it is (on the words of his Ninth Regeneration)

FANTASTIC!

You have to wonder about a show that can make a man in his early thirties 'Squeeee' with joy at the sight and sound of a old blue police box.

Watch it.. love it... The Tenth Doctor has found his stride and his new companion, Martha, looks like a fiesty new girl in the 900 year old time lords life

Home again, Home again, Jiggedy-Jig-Jig!

Flew into Bris-Vegas early in the morning after a 15 hour flight. It is amazing how one becomes used to long haul flights. I was wedged in between a stranger on my right (who had nabbed the important window seat!) and Girlclumsy on my left. I thought i was going to have a problem being stuck in the middle but i was very zen about the whole situation (after having a minor freakout at Dubai airport).

Coming from a scottish winter into an australian summer has be kicking me around. Not the temperature, which has been very nice all things considering, but the sunlight. Right now in Glasgow the sun doesn't get up until after 8:30am (which is a sensible time to be up, if you ask me) and goes down about 4pm. This morning i was awoken by very loud and impolite australian birds screeching at each other about how great the day was... at 5am! By 7:30am the sun had risen higher in the sky than it ever does in scotland and seems to be intent on reaching the zenith as soon as possible. After many months away I am a stranger in a strange land.

Things look odd to me at the moment. 2L softdrink bottles are fat and round where in the U.K they are taller and slender. The trees have leaves on them. Australian birds are very impolite! The European birds seem to talk to each other in measured tones where aussie birds yell at top volume. I can hear in the background people out mowing their lawns (which are surprisingly green considering Brisbane is in the middle of level 4 water restrictions)

I have started moving all my stuff into the new flat. I am glad i turfed so much of my collected rubbish before i went away but after living from one backpack for 5 months i am appalled how much more rubbish i seem to have. One only needs a pair of shoes, a few pairs of underwear, a shirt or two and pair of good jeans... and a swiss army knife. Anything else is an extravagence!

I am back in Brisbane... i'll get back to the relative 'goodness' or 'badness'of this fact later ;)

Dubai, Dubai, Wipe that tear from your eye

Salaam Ali Koomb from the United Arab Emirates!

Instead of stampeding for home in a 24 hour marathon flight, Girlclumsy and I decided to break the journey up by stopping at the extraordinary Dubai. The flight on Emirates was great. The seats are comfortable and they dont squash you right up against the seat in front. The inflight entertainment was amazing with hundreds of movies, tv shows and radio to enjoy.. they even had games. If you get bored on planes now it really is your own fault! I even liked the food! A very enjoyable flight all round.

Dubai is an amazing place especially if you like shopping. There are more posh shopping centres here than anywhere I have ever seen and more extravagent (but tasteful) displays of mega-wealth than anywhere else. Of course there is more to Dubai than just shopping and you can get a godo feel of the 'normal' people here but walking around the streets in souks and markets.

Girlclumsy has come down with some sort of illness. We thought she had caught my flu from a few days ago but she has been slightly more seriuosly ill than that! (Dont get tooo worried. she aint dyin'!)

We went to the Mall of the Emirates and saw the 400m long indoor skiing field they have built. The place is huuuuuuuuge and it even have mock swiss chalets inside it so the skiers can get a hot chocolate.

35 years ago Dubai was basically desert but now it ruptures out of the sand next to the beautiful arabian gulf. It is amazing what stability and extreme wealth can do to make a city bloom in the desert.

On the bus yesterday we started talking to a local man. He was very happy to help us with directions and local information as long as we told everybody back in Australia that Muslims are not all terrorists. He felt that western media portrayed muslims in a bad light andhe really wanted us to address that balance. As far as im concerned muslims are just people like everybody else. It is the lunatics that can be found in ALL countries and ALL religons that make life difficult for the average peace loving person.

We went to stare at the Burj Al Arab. It is the hotel that instantly comes to mind when you think of Dubai. Rising 320 metres above the sea it looks like a white sale and won the Hotel of the Millenium a few years ago. I found out it is based slightly on the Sydney Opera House and Eiffel Tower. You cant go in there just to look around anymore and the rooms cost from $2500 a night! Girlclumsy and I made do with looking at the outside for free.

This city is constant flux with many many many new skyscrapers going up all around. There is a new train system being built and i get the feeling this city will be considered one of the greatest cities on earth very very soon. Dont get me worng.. there is awful poverty here as well but the city has a very modern vibe to it that makes it very easy to like.. even for a non-shopper like me!

We dont really have enough time to explore this city at any great depth but it is somewhere we would like to come back to in the future..especially when we can afford $2500 a night for a room!

Movin' on into 2007

Greetings,

The sun was shining bright today here in Glasgow today. Clear blue skies and a bright sun is not the norm for this time of year. I keep being told it is 'unseasonably warm'. I like to think my Sun-God powers grow ever greater with each passing year.. or maybe it is Global Warming... Wah Divinity or Pollution... the great debate!

I have to point out one thing.. ice is hard and wet! I know you are sitting there thinking DUH! but for me ice has always been something that gummed up your freezer. It wasnt something that occured naturally on the ground! Solid water and liquid water co-existing together in the same place! a miracle! I have uploaded all the photos to date at this URL. To see me struggling with the concept of solid water overlaying liquid water in a pond have a look at the 'Muir of Ord' photos.

New Years Eve was a hoot! I have come down with some kind of cold/flu thingame and it really has been kicking me around but a few lagers and wee drams of whisky and i was ready to ceilidh the night away. You can see how ill i am in the photos ... some of it is my usual ugly moosh but a lot of it is nasty flu. Outside was blowing a huge gale. The outside celebrations for most of Scotland was cancelled due to the dangerous winds but we were safe inside an old stone church in the middle of the city. I have uploaded all the photos from NYE as well... what does a mock-scotsman wear up his kilt??? The Ceilidh dancing was great. I had my first taste of it at my sister's wedding and i was chuffed to do it again for New Years Eve. It is a great, inclusive style of mass dancing and if you are crap at it is doesnt matter as everybody gets bad as the whisky flows! huzzah! It ended with Auld Lang Syne yelled at top volume at least three times and loads of hugging and kissing all round .. aaaw. Girlclumsy and I even had a romantic waltz.. double aaaw. The night didnt end there! Nooooo sireeee! We whisked ourselves through the gale to Wes and Julie's flat .. kinda near the Gorbals but i was pretty wasted at the time and that might be wrong :) There we got down to listening to scottish tunes.. such as the Proclaimers and many renditions of 'Flower of Scotland' ('..and sent them home, to think again'). i know there was a video camera wandering about and i know i did 'something' in front of it. It might just destroy my future political career ;) All in all a fabulous night with fabulous people.

I have had many different types of single malt whisky poured down my gullet over the last few weeks and i have developed a taste for the expensive stuff :) I am now a Whisky-Snob in training :) There are so many types of whisky... but it is called the Water of Life so if i drink a lot of it i am sure i will have enough years to sample them all.

I am going to miss my sister Deb and her new husband Eoghann. They have been oh so welcoming. They had only bought this house a little before we arrived and with the wedding and us swanning in and out over 2 months they really havent had much time to enjoy it by themselves. I can only hope they come out to Oz pretty damn sharpish!

Tomorrow we are off again! Boarding a midday-ish plane to go to the United Arab Emirates and more particularly Dubai. Who knows what madness awaits us there but it cant be any 'worse' than Morocco!

Sky Wagons Ho!