Prognosis : Death! - RELAPSE!

It seems you can't keep a good hospital down. ImproMafia's Medical, Comedy, Soap Opera "Prognosis: Death" is back at the Brisbane Arts Theatre for it's second season (codenamed - RELAPSE!).

You can read the synopses of all Season One in earlier posts in this blog

The medical staff of St Love Hospital have to deal with many strange events.

Monsters, Tragedy and ... Love!
(and don't forget the buckets of blood sprayed onto the cast each night)


Prognosis : Death! - RELAPSE!
Season Two

Episode One - "St Love and the Visitors"

Dr Burton Mangold stands up Nurse Lottie Buble at their wedding and vanishes to places unknown.

... months pass at St Love...

One night a strange light from the sky attracts Reverend Jeremy Thistlewaite to the St Love National Forest. He is possessed by an alien life form that wishes to turn all of St Love into a race of mind controlled slaves in fabulous headdresses. When all seems lost it is revealed that the man everyone thought was the St Love Lighthouse Keeper was none other than Dr Burton Mangold in a cunning disguise! Torn apart by their conflicting desires, Mangold, Buble and the rest of the St Love staff have to somehow come together to fight back the FABULOUS alien menace.

Nurse Buble learns the meaning of the expression "Splashback"

Episode Two - "St Love and the Phantom"
aka "The Phantom of the Operating Theatre"

Dr Melody Carmichael (Intern) had a difficult start to her career. At St Love Medical School her mentor was tragically crushed by a badly stacked pile of George Foreman Grills. Many years later at St Love Hospital rats erupt from the basement levels of the hospital and a strange disembodied voice is heard calling to Dr Melody Carmichael (Intern). Could this be her mutilated mentor back from the dead looking for revenge? Who will the Phantom kill to gain his revenge? Can the Staff of St Love stop his mad schemes.. and is the mirror-ball in the St Love Dance Hall about to come smashing to the ground?

The Phantom of the Operating Theatre

Episode Three - "St Love and the Voodoo Curse"

Reverend Jeremy Thistewaite is struck down by a strange Voodoo curse and falls into a coma. He is replaced by the sensual latino Reverend Casanova Lovechild, The sexiest priest from St Love's Latin Quarter. Dr Melody Carmichael and Dr Ludwig LeStrange, one by one, fall to the voodoo curse becoming lust filled marionettes. Can all this evil voodoo be blamed on Reverend Casanova Lovechild? Why has Chief Medical Superintendent Harold Dean been seen with a creepy nun puppet that talks in a voice not his own? Can even Dr Burton Mangold, the best damn doctor in all of St Love, stop this VooDoo threat?

Feel the sultry, sweaty, smoky and sexy power of Reverend Casanova Lovechild, the sexiest priest from St Love's Latin Quarter

The first three episodes of "Prognosis: Death - RELAPSE" have been a hoot and a half. If you missed any of these shows, don't be disheartened! There are three more shows you can see.

Every night is improvised, so every storyline is fresh and new based on suggestions from you the audience.

This season we are offering personalised hospital ID badges for sale at the show. Created by Dan Beeston (www.invisiblespiders.com) these badges will make you one of the staff of St Love Hospital.

Personalised St Love Hospital ID Badge

For more information go to www.impromafia.com or www.artstheatre.com

Welcome to St Love Hospital "You'll lose your mind, your heart.. and possibly your kidneys"

The Staff of St Love Hospital

All the photos were taken by St Love Hospital's resident musician, Kris Anderson or his wife, Wanda. Check out Kris' amazing impro-musical blog at www.musicalhotspot.com

How to stop Swine Flu Infection

I thought I should give a public announcement on how best to stop the spread of Swine Flu. Hopefully this will quell some of the crazy panic I have seen on this issue

1. Wash your hands every time you go to the toilet (this is common-sense 101, people!

2. Use a tissue every time you cough or sneeze. Dispose of tissue hygienically.

3. Avoid touching your nose or mouth... your sweet sensuous mouth (no.. stop it! leave it alone!)

4. If you see an infected person cut off their head or destroy the brain. I repeat, remove the head or destroy the brain

Wait... is that Swine Flu or Zombies... hmmm

Either way, I have my Medical Issue Shotgun and Anti-Swine Flu Axe, a truck full of tinned food and an impregnable bolt hole to weather the crisis.

Those of you that I deem useful will be contacted soon. The rest of you are on your own!

Be Alert, Not Alarmed.. and swing for the neck!

The True Story of Easter

I know it isn't politically correct to say so but it was a certain race that crucified Christ. This race has been around for a long time, they think of themselves as the most important people in the universe and they have big ... eyestalks (!?)

Yes, It was the Daleks who kicked off the whole Christian thingame.

Death March 2009

What did you get up to on Valentine's day? I thought of the best present I could give to Girlclumsy. I packed my bag while she still slumbered and headed out into the world to see how far away I could walk from her in eight hours.

So began what became to be known as Death-March 2009.

To be honest it had nothing to do with GC really. I had been waiting for the right weather (cloudy, raining and cool) to attempt the eight hour walk.

Why would I want to walk for eight hours? Well, I know many people who seem to be doing interesting things such as blogs, webcomics, giving birth and raising maggots. The internet gives a thin veneer of legitimacy for any cockamamie idea you might have.

The idea had been percolating through my skull for a few weeks. I like to walk. I walk quickly and with purpose. People who know me know that I hate aimless rambling. I don't really care in what direction I go in as long as it purposeful walking. I have always been fascinated with the stories about women having to walk 20 km a day to collect water for their families or armies having to march vast distances before squaring up with a less tired force. Most of us in Australia today live rather sedentary lives. I was intrigued whether I could walk for eight hours.

Why eight hours? It was a rather arbitrary choice, to be honest. I have slept for eight hours, I have worked for eight hours (no matter what my last employer tells you), I have played games (both computer and board) for eight hours.. so why not walk eight hours?

I wasn't after a distance. I merely wanted to walk for eight hours. I decided that if I ever stopped for any reason I would have to make that time up at the end. My route was semi planned. My parents live in Strathpine, so I would set out in that direction down South Pine Road (I live in the centre of the city), if I made it that far then I would continue towards Redcliffe and a house I used to live in over a decade ago. The final destination didn't matter it merely gave me something to aim for. I am not hugely fit but I do a fair bit of walking so I was confidant I wouldn't die.

I did some research and confirmed that the average human walking speed is 5 km an hour. Distance to Strathpine from my house is 26 km... I thought I would at least make it that far. My ex-house in Redcliffe is 47 km away from where I live... I doubted I would get that far in eight hours.

I had been watching the weather over the last few days and it seemed that Valentine's Day was going to be ideal for this little jaunt. When I woke up that morning it was over-cast and cool and I knew the time for the March was nigh.

I had a backpack ready to go. It had a 2L bottle of water and 2x 600ml of water (frozen), 4x 375ml pepsi max cans (for caffeine support), a bag of mixed lollies, a bag of pistachio nuts (I am crazy for pistachio nuts). In the backpack was also a SFX magazine, iPod, sunscreen, spare shirt, spare socks, many thick band-aids, mobile phone, some writing paper and pens. All up the pack weighed about 6kg. I was going to take a camera to document the journey but the battery charger had failed in the night and I decided to push on without it. I strapped my heels with band-aids and armoured myself in my beloved black boots.

With a jaunty wave and a "I am going out for a walk. I may be some time" to GirlClumsy I headed out into the world. That was at 10:20am.

Every hour I would take out my pen and paper and document where I was and how I was feeling at the time. I have reproduced what I wrote below.


11:21am - Cnr South Pine Rd and Farrington St, Alderley - Feel fine but wet (yay rain)

12:19pm - Cnr Old Northern Rd and Chinook St, suburb unknown (Rode Rd overpass) - Still fine. I have driven this road many times but I respect the distance now. Enjoying the change in houses as I head out of the city into the burbs.

1:22pm - Cnr South Pine Road (again! sneaky road) and Bunya Park Drive, Brendale. Have officially entered Pine Rivers. Bastard bastarding hills. Rolling hills you don't even notice in a car. Bastards. Right thigh starting to ache. Blister forming on left foot little toe.

2:21pm - Cnr Lavarack Rd and Samsonvale Rd, Bray Park. Blisters are now becoming painful. Need to stop and protect my feet. Feeling slightly heat distressed for the first time. I have decided to stop and sit under a tree and replaster my feet and change socks. I will have a short break and then push on. All this time will have to be made up later. Want to walk to my parent's house nearby and rest there but I doubt I would leave again.

*In 4 hours I had walked approximately 26 km. I seemed to be making good time. It occured to me during the break that a marathon is 42.2km. I started wondering if I could make it that far. I also had a profound respect for people that run that distance in 2.5 hours!*

Set out again at 2:50pm

3:50pm - Cnr of Yebri St and Anzac Ave, Petrie (Ruth Whitfield Memorial Park). Right Hip starting to hurt. Feet not so bad. Lunch break did wonders. Had a sneaky pee behind a tree in Ms Whitfield's Park. Very yellow. Must drink more water. First time I have ever done that in my adult life... I am an anarchist.

4:50pm - Cnr Bray Rd and Anzac Ave, Kallangur. I hate Anzac Ave. Long long long looooooong road. Everything below the waist starting to complain. I officially name this trek Death March 2009.

5:52pm - Cnr Deception Bay Rd and Anzac Ave, REDCLIFFE!!! Officially have entered Redcliffe. Officially still on Anzac Ave. Officially f*cking angry at the non-ending bastard road Anzac Ave. Screw you Anzac Ave and your endless f*cking length. Was momentarily happy when I saw the Welcome to Redcliffe sign but then happiness was replaced with fear as I was swarmed by a billion hungry mosquitos that breed in the feted swamp that is Redcliffe. THIS IS WHY THE ORIGINAL COLONISTS LEFT THIS SHITE-HOLE FOR BRISBANE. I had to run from the swarm. hobble painfully... whatever. slight tunnel vision. thirsty.

16:50pm *I think I meant 6:50 or 18:50.. Mr Brain was not happy by this time* Klingner Rd across from Macfarlane Park, Redcliffe. Death March 2009 over. Limping heavily, right foot very sore inside the foot. tunnel vision worse, all water gone. GC is coming to pick me up and bringing water. Sore right arm for some reason. Yelled at by twice by passing cars on the final stretch. Huzzah for Redcliffe. You win the Bogan Prize.

---

When GirlClumsy arrived she told me that I looked like a injured dog as I limped to the car. She reset the travel odometer in the car and traced my route in reverse. In eight hours I had walked 40km exactly. For accuracy sake I am going to say that is 40 km (plus or minus 0.5 km). I was very annoyed that I had not gone the full marathon. GirlClumsy was very amused how annoyed I was at myself for not making it to 42.2km.

I had proved very nicely the 5km average walking speed. My speed for the first half of the walk was just under 6 km an hour and then it decreased to its lowest point of 4.5 km per hour at the end.

So, what have I learned from all this madness? 40km is a long way to walk. My heavy boots, though excellent, might have been a little too heavy for this. I get angry when I get tired. When I get angry I don't feel pain and I speed up. Unlike my trek through the High Atlas Mountains, Morocco in 2006 this didn't push me to the limits of my endurance. It was painful but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I also saw why population centres are where they are. They are all separated by the distance that a person could walk or ride in under a day. It seems pretty damn obvious when you walk the distance and not just fly by in a car.

Most importantly I learned that I am fitter than I thought I was but not as fit as I would like to be.

Am I glad I did Death March 2009? - Yes. I am happy I could plan it, implement and have the guts and testicular fortitude to finish what I started.

Will I be doing Death Mark 2010? - HELL, NO!

*Death March 2009 - Aftermath* Today I awoke and the limping has gone from bad to worse. My right foot is very sore inside. I suspect I have pulled a muscle in my foot. My right hip is extremely sore. When I try to stand straight it feels like my right leg is about 5 cm taller then my left. It must be from the swelling. Neurofen and my own mutant healing factor will fix it right up lickity-split. Muscles in the legs feel fine. Very deep blister on my right foot at the back. Right elbow is sore for no apparent reason. In fact, the right hand side of my body seems to have taken the brunt of the damage. So much for the left hand side being the sinister side. I have the oddest chaff marks right across my body from my clothes. They are numerous but not in the places you would think you would have them*

Thus begins the autopsy...

Cleanup required in the Operating Theatre!

The first series (more on that later) of the fully improvised play "Prognosis : Death!" has come to a close at the Brisbane Arts Theatre. The doctors and nurses of St Love have hung up their scrubs. Though I was aware of the potential of this production I am blown away at how popular the show became in its short six episode run. On the last night we had 95 people in the audience. Over the series we averaged 66 people per night. Every night more and more people came to see the show. Many were repeat audience members who came back to see if we were telling truth that each show was fully unscripted and made up on the spot based on their suggestions (We were and It was). It was a great experience to be a part of this show and its goes to prove the power and popularity of Theatre/Impro hybrid concepts. I think Impro Mafia will be looking more into this style of show in the future.

The sexy staff of St Love Hospital

If you missed any of the last three episodes a brief synopsis of each is below.

Episode 4 - "St Love and the Blizzard of Dreams"

A terrible snowstorm had trapped all the staff of St Love inside the hospital. The last person to make it to work was Dr Melody Carmichael (Intern) who had slept in that morning by mistake as she had been plagued with terrible dreams the night before. Before long weird and inexplicable events were happening in the hospital. Strange, otherworldy figures were seen stalking the halls of St Love as the staff's deepest dreams started coming true! Medical Superintendent Harold Dean finally fired Dr Mangold, Nurse Buble finally consummated her relationship with Dr Mangold and Dr Melody Carmichael (Intern) finally took the coveted position of "Best Damn Surgeon at St Love" from Dr Mangold. In fact, the only person who wasn't enjoying himself was Dr Burton Mangold (except for the consummation bit). He had lost a young boy patient, Bobby, to "The Sickness" (Symptoms of "The Sickness" include loss of use of legs, coughing and projectile vomiting of blood over nearby doctors) and started to realise that people's dreams and nightmares were coming true. Dr Mangold quickly worked out he needed to find the solution in his own dreams. After being shagged to sleep by Nurse Buble and helped along by punches to the face by Medical Superintendent Harold Dean, Dr Mangold entered The Dreamscape. After nearly being sexually molested by a dream ape (in song no less) Dr Mangold found out how to save the day from the dream version of Bobby. Everything was back to normal... except at that moment Dr Melody Carmichael WOKE UP! It had all been a terrible nightmare and everything was back to normal... except at that moment Dr Ludwig LeStrange WOKE UP! It had all been a terrible dream of a woman dreaming a terrible dream about the staff falling prey to terrible dreams... freaky!

Episode 5 - "St Love and the Fourth Reich"

1944 - Germany - The Black Forest. Two Nazi Officers built a time machine using the Equations of Einstein and Blood Magic. They hurled themselves into the future to make sure the Nazi Reich would rule the world forever.

Present Day - St Love. The Nazis infiltrated St Love Hospital killing off the staff members and taking their place. They even managed to replace Medical Superintendent Howard Dean (Harold Dean's identical twin brother) with an evil Nazi Doppelganger! The Nazi's hid their evil nazi plans by convincing the staff it was time for Oktoberfest. Dr Mangold and Nurse Buble became suspicious especially of their new Lutheran priest Jeremy Von Thistlewaite. Soon, however, their suspicion was proven to be miss placed as lutheran priest was slain by the real master of the Nazi's.. Dr Ludwig LeStrange. Le Strange had travelled to the future many years ago to create the Fourth Reich using the blood of a virgin. Le Strange captured the lovely Nurse Buble and the Rise of the Fourth Reich seemed assured until Dr Mangold arrived and pointed out that thanks to him Nurse Buble was not a virgin! Thwarted, Le Strange used the only other virgin blood he had close by... his own. Fortunately the blood needed to be female for the time portal magic to work properly. The two hench-Nazis were thrown back in time to 1944, England, where they were shot but Dr Mangold's grandfather BlackSmith Mangold. Dr Le Strange was also caught in the time vortex and thrown back 70 million years. He made friends with the dinosaurs and taught Tyrannosaurus Rex how to use their stumpy little hands. Once again the hospital was saved.

Episode 6 - "St Love and the Morningstar"

Dr Burton Mangold was "The Best Damn Surgeon" at St Love Hospital until the arrival of his best friend/worst enemy Dr Rik Cocksteady. Cocksteady could do everything Mangold could do but better. He was richer, sexier and a better lover and doctor too! Soon he had replaced at Mangold in everything at St Love Hospital. Dr Mangold left the hospital in disgrace. Meanwhile, the new preacher Presbyterian Minister Jeremy McThistlewaite had noticed strange and unsettling things in the hospital. The Baptismal font had turned to blood. The staff were being tempted to perform acts of lust and gluttony. Even the cafeteria coffee had turned to blood! McThistlewaite new this was the work of Satan (The Morningstar) ... read your bible! He also thought he knew who Satan was working through... the Nazi from last episode Dr Ludwig Le Strange!. Taking matters into his own hands he slew Le Strange. Unfortunately the occult occurrences continued and McThistlewaite went insane realising he had committed the sin of Wrath! Outside the hospital Dr Burton Mangold was drinking himself into an early grave when he was visited by a hard drinking, hard fighting, hard singing (in a manly way), archangel called Gabe. Gabe restored Mangold's faith in himself using song and Mangold returned to the hospital to face Satan. Back at the hospital Dr Rik Cocksteady botched a lobotomy on McThistlewaite, killing him. Cocksteady realised he had fallen to the sin of Pride. Dr Burton Mangold returned to the hospital and revealed Satan to be (not Medical Superintendent Harold Dean) none other than Dr Melody Carmichael (Intern). Melody's Satanic power was too strong however and she would have taken over the world but for one thing. Dr Mangold and Nurse Buble admitted their love for each other. This tender moment brought the attention of God to the scene who, as the Prince of Peace, enchanted the bullets in Mangold's gun. Together, Dr Burton Mangold and Dr Rik Cocksteady shot Satan multiple times in the head.

Even with everything back to normal there was still time for one last plot twist. As the lights started to fade Dr Burton Mangold fell to one knee and asked Nurse Lottie Buble to marry him! No answer was heard...

What will happen next series of "Prognosis : Death!"? Will Nurse Lottie Buble marry Dr Burton Mangold? Will Reverend Jeremy Thistlewaite ever find true faith?? Will Dr Ludwig Le Strange ever feel the tough of a woman? Will Medical Superintendent Harold Dean ever manage to beat Dr Mangold? Will people ever stop calling Dr Melody Carmichael (Intern) "Nurse Carmichael"?

Will there ever be a series two? The answer to that is a definite maybe! ImproMafia is in negotiations with the Brisbane Arts Theatre to bring the show back later in the year. We hope to have series two in July. If you have suggestion for the show feel free to drop me a line.

As I have had said before (ad nauseum!) "Prognosis : Death!" has been a wonderful experience. Impro Mafia is dedicated to exploring this style of show further. Keep an eye on the ImproMafia website for show details. Also, If you are interested in the musical aspect of the show have a squiz at the musing of our excellent musician Kris at his website www.musicalhotspot.com

My God! A picture of me I do not hate

Prognosis : Success!

If you live in Brisbane, hopefully you have heard about the success of Impro Mafia's latest production "Prognosis : Death!". This show is a fully improvised play where the audience comes up with the nature of the threat that threatens the town of St Love. It is 'Scrubs' mashed with the 'X-Files'. Each performance is a fully contained episode of 'Prognosis : Death!' but some show cross over occurs to reward the audience members who have come to more than one performance. A a fast paced, comedy full of adults themes, invasive medical procedures, supernatural shenanigans, buckets of blood and simmering sexual tension!

It has been described in reviews as similar to "Let the Blood Run Free" (if you are an older audience member) or "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace" (If you are one of the beautiful young things)

The show has had excellent audiences for its first three perfomances (average of 50+ a night).



The cast above (left to right) - David as Dr Burton Mangold, Natalie as Nurse Lottie Buble, Luke as Medical Superintendent Harold Dean, Michael as The Mummy Amon-Ra, Wade as Reverend Jeremy Thistlewaite, our excellent musician Kris, Dan as Dr Ludwig LeStrange and Amy as Dr Melody Carmicheal (Intern).

The recap of each show should whet your appetite for our last few performances!

Episode 1 - "St Love and the Itty Bitty Vampire Kitty Committee"

St Love Hospital fell under the dark power of a Vampire Kitten! The Kitten had been buried in the Indian Burial Ground Pet Cemetery and had clawed its way back to the land of the living looking for blood!. Many of the staff at St Love Hospital fell to its lolcat claws, forever transformed into Vampire Kitties! Reverend Thistlewaite rediscovered his lost faith just in time to smite the vampire kittens with his very heavy bible.



Episode 2 - "St Love and the Portrait of Madness"

Medical Superintendent Harold Dean was desperate for funds for his hospital so he ordered a Hospital Jumble Sale. Little did he know that the local crime boss "Glasses McGee" has hidden a 500 year old possessed painting in the basement. The Crime boss was scared that the local superhero "The Leggy Avenger" would reclaim his booty. Little did he realise that The Leggy Avenger was none other than St Love's Nurse Lottie Buble! Harold Dean was driven mad by the possessed painting - killing off the staff of St Love one by one. Egged on by the possessed painting Medical Superintendent Harold Dean almost killed all the staff but finally he, and the painting, were stopped by the powerful crotch kicks of The Leggy Avenger and her new sidekick Footsie!

Episode 3 - "St Love and the Curse of Osiris"

Dr Ludwig LeStrange, taking a sabbatical from the hospital to pursue his hobby of archaeology, accidentally disturbed the remains of a 5000 year old Mummy by removing its brain and taking it back to St Love Hospital. As fate would have it he had to use the brain in a transplant to save his old sidekick "Minky". With the brain of the Pharaoh Amon-Ra and the youthful body of Minky the Mummy went looking for a living bride. A Plague of Chicken (singular) and a Plague of Blood (most definitely plural!) were visited on St Love Hospital. The Mummy slaughtered his way through the hospital but it did finally find a bride, Dr Melody Carmichael!. The young Melody was quite smitten by her exotic new husband but was disturbed to discover he had no genitals due to a tragic lion related accident thousands of year ago. The Mummy and his bride were content to leave the hospital in peace forever but they were bravely smote by Dr Burton Mangold and his anti-eczema Sorbelene cream.

Remember, all story suggestions are taken from the audience. The entire hour long performance is 'off the cuff' and unscripted.

What will happen in the next episode of "Prognosis : Death!"?

You will have to come to the Brisbane Arts Theatre to find out!

Running Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays
January 22 to 31.
8pm
Special low price! $15 adults/$10 concessions.
Bookings: 3369 2344
210 Petrie Terrace, Brisbane

A Very Dalek Christmas

Ho Ho EXTERMINATE!

Below are some pictures of the Xmas Dalek here at Chez Clumsy.


May you all have a very Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.

Also.. only two more sleeps to The Next Doctor!



Keep in eye on www.girlclumsy.com to see the continual painful adventures of the one and only GirlClumsy!

Wah-ducation and The Beatles

How are The Beatles like The Wah's university education?

Two down and two to go.

Beatles = members
Wah = years

booyah!

Where's your messiah now?

As of 15 minutes ago I officially have lived longer than Jesus.

The Wah - 1 / Son of God - 0

Take that, God!

Building Better Beings

The computer game 'Spore' will be released in under a week. Below are some of the creatures I have created for the game.



I believe Spore could be one of the best 'God' games ever produced. Here's to abnormally high expectations ;)

Home

Well... I'm home

The vehicle i came home in was a bit rickety but got me there eventually... (the pilot was a bit of a dummy)



I was in a fight with a couple of total Clankers...



but i did make a new man's best friend on the way...---

To be honest, I am not that keen on being back.. ah well

Girlclumsy is still out and about in Edinburgh and having more fun than all of us put together working for and performing at the Edinburgh Comedy Fringe Festival. Keep an eye out on what she's up to here

Why it sucks to be you

Harsh words in the title of this blog, eh?

Yet, it is true.

You may think everything is going swimmingly but it still sucks to be you.

You may have recently fallen in love.
You may have be given a big fat promotion at work.
You may have paid off your house.
You may have booked your world wide holiday.
You may have bought a puppy.
You may have discovered you are pregnant.
You may have gotten the tests back and it IS just a mole.
You may have finally gotten the accident insurance money.
You may have driven home in your new Bugatti Veyron.
You may have been elected in a massive voter landslide.
You may have completed your tertiary education with excellent marks.
You may have eaten the best sandwich in your entire life

...but it still sucks to be you..



... For you see... If you at not one of the audience at the Royal Shakespeare Company's version of Hamlet at the Courtyard Theatre tomorrow then it sucks to be you.

Starring an excellent cast, such as Patrick Stewart as Claudius and David Tennant as The Dane, this is going to be one of the best nights of theatre I have ever been a part of.

We have all done pretty amazing things in our lives, I am sure...

...But if you are not in the crowd tonight at Stratford-Upon-Avon...

...well... its sucks to be you.

The Doctor and The Wah

Greetings from sunny Glasgow!

I could write a blog post about Scotland and England fighting for hundreds of years.

I could write a blog post about the thousands of historical sites scattered across this tiny country.

I could write a blog post about my sister and my brother-in-law

Buuuuuut... this blog is about something REEEEEALLY important.

The TARDIS on Buchanan Street in the centre of Glasgow!




I'll always be here to keep you up to date with the important items from around the U.K!

Keep an eye on Girlclumsy's blog for more videos!

You have to travel the world to meet your neighbour

Mljet (Milyet) is a charming little coastal town on the Adriatic sea. We are anchored here tonight to taste the local Pivo (beer) and listen to our captain and crew play Croatian songs.

It has been an amazing couple of days here on the Tarin.


The Captain of the Tarin (also a fabulous accordian player) owns her as well. He spends his time in around the Dalmatian Coast for the summer working with Busabout hauling tourists (mainly Australians) around. In the winter he works his way north taking German/Austrian tourists around the north Adriatic... it is an amazing life.

But I am not here to talk about the amazing holiday in which I find myself... great thought it is ;)

What I do want to talk to about is the people you meet when on holidays.

I used to live in Bowen. 200 km north of Mackay and 200 km south of Townsville FNQ (Far North Queensland). Tonight my sister and I discovered two Bowen boys on the boat moored next to ours.

We couldn't believe it! They lived in the same shitty town about 10 years after we left it! In all my years of travel I have never met another Bowenite. It gets stranger still. These two lads lived in 54 Whitsunday St. (Go Google Earth it.. i can wait). I used to live across the the road in 51 Whitsunday St! They have played in the house I grew up in! Weeeeeeird! They have had Mr Shields as a teacher! He was my (and their) science teacher. Mr Shields is the reason I want to be a science teacher. The fact he is still alive and teaching blew my mind...

Anyhoo.. It is amazing how far you have to run to hear stories about a place you used to call home.
Enjoy the picture of the Croatian Flag and the wonderful Adriatic Sea. It will be hard to leave this lovely place.

So much horror in the recent past quickly washed away...

For videos of what we have been up to go to GirlClumsy's website. Shenanigans a-go-go!

Welcome to Wah Town

Greetings from Croatia...

sorry about the lack of posts but internet access has been few and far between.. and the small towns dotting the Adriatic have limited free wi-fi! (What is this.. early 2002?!??!)

Our Dalmatian Coast trip has been amazing. Great weather, great boat, fantastic food.. this trip has had it all. We have been onboard for three days and it has been a blur of swimming, eating, sleeping and drinking into the wee hours of the very short Croatian summer nights.

What can i say about Croatia and the Dalmatian Coast? It reminds me of the Greek Cyclades. These islands have everything the greek islands have except they havent quite worked out how to screw you for every Kuna. Where the greek islands where cock a block with tourists with nary a greek accent to be heard, every second person walking the quaint marbled backstreets is a native Croatian. These island towns are great places to relax and unwind and have fun.

As I type this I am sitting on the Riva of Hvar Town on the island of Hvar. Hvar is pronounced H-Wah... ya gotta love that ;) World Wide Wah indeed! It is a very odd feeling to sit in a very old school style marble dock watching the revelers move from bar to bar with a laptop on you knee. A blend of the old and new that i find rather delicious.

Our ship is the 'Tarin'. It is a lovely old refurbished ship. Girlclumsy and I have what can be called a stateroom at the bow of the ship. Hot running water and a comfy bed.. all is well in Wah Town. 'll post pictures as soon as i download them from the camera. If you can't wait then head on over to GirlClumsy's blog to see some great videos of our trip so far.

It is after midnight and the town is still pumping. Must run!

This is Wah Town... you are just visiting here :)

Fat and Sassy in Brunei

The couple of day stop in Brunei was a very interesting experience. We wee treated like the Sultan himself by the good people at Good Miles tours. Girlclumsy had talked them at 4BC when they came to promote Brunei a few weeks ago and they gave us the 'inspection tour'. This meant they pretended we were travel agents coming from overseas to check out their operation. In short this meant we went on tours to a water village, saw iguana and proboscus monkeys and are entirely for free! We felt like class traitors! GC and I see ourselves as rather daring backpackers poking our noses into the world's nook and crannies. In Brunei we became fat and sassy overlords being carted around in airconditioned comfort... and yes I could become use to it ;).



Brunei relies 95% on it's oil production and sales. It is a very rich nation. The sultan is one of the richest people in the world but unlike most rich rulers he does give a lot back to his people. Free education, health care, electricity, water, low interest loans for houses.. the list goes on. This guy is what i could call a Benevolent Dictator. Look, it isn't all bells and whistles but it is pretty good for the people in this country. Crime is incredibly low here.. and it isn't because of draconian laws and punishments.. as if that works anyway. It is because the people do not have to worry about whether they have a place to sleep and food to eat. If you have the basics for survival you don't need to rob some pasty white tourist. Something for our 'Screw-you-Jack-I'm-alright' mentality to think about.

The most amazing sight was the '29th' Mosque. Built by the current sultan (The 29th sultan of the one family since the 1300's) it is the second biggest mosque in the world.



Unlike Morocco, we were allowed to entire this mosque. It was a beautiful testament to the architectural cleverness of human beings. (heh.. if that isn't a comment from an atheist i don't know what is).

I can really really recommend Brunei as a day (or two day) stop when travelling from Australia. It reminds of Dubai before it went uber western. It is safe and moderately muslim. They don't care who you worship. In fact, while i was here I was offered alcohol by our hosts because 'Australians are big drinkers'... I was also offered 'other services' but I will say no more as this is a family rated site.

If you want to see other photos and videos of Brunei have a squiz at GirlClumsy's Blog.

The trip to London was easy. You sit, you watch movies, you eat, you sleep, you eat, you watch movies.. rinse and repeat.

We meet my sister and her husband today. Tomorrow it is off to Croatia!

Before I go I do have some sad news. Cassandra Puddleduck is no longer with us. Cassie was the family Irish Wolfhound who faithfully served our family for over a decade. She was gentle, kind and loving. A true lady. Her nick name was "Eileen' because she loved to lean against you.. and when a 60 kg Irish Wolfhound decides to lean on your leg you know about it. She was diagnosed with liver cancer 15 months ago and was given 1-3 months to live. She beat the odds for so long and was happy and healthy until a few days before she died. If you knew her then you know what a wonderful hound she was. I wish I had a picture I could put up here but I don't have any on the laptop. There is a movie called "The Truth about Cats and Dogs". I have no idea what the movie is about but someone once told me the truth about cats and dogs is that they die. I don't agree. I think the truth about cats and dogs is that they lived.

**edit**

Here is a picture of the lovely Cassie. More human than most humans I know. I will be forever a part of her pack

Travel makes the heart grow fonder

Tomorrow, Sunday 6th July, GirlClumsy and I set out on another of our world trekking trips. Nowhere near as ambitious as the last 6 month epic, this time we are away for 4 weeks. Well, I'm away for 4 weeks and GC is away for 5!

We are heading to Croatia to sail the Dalmatian Coast with my sister and my brother-in-law

We then scoot back to Scotland for a few days to recuperate.

Then its GC and me heading south attempting to see as many British heritage sights as we can. We have the excellent Great British Heritage pass and we intend to get out money's worth!

We stop at Stratford-Upon-Avon to visit Doctor Who.. um.. I mean see David Tennant in the Royal Shakespeare Company's production of Hamlet. I am very excited about this. GC is trying to get an interview with Mr Tennant... all professional and above board... honest!

Then we head back to London and I fly home to start semester two of uni but GirlClumsy wings her way back to Edinburgh to help the very talented Deborah Frances-White spruik her comedy show " "How to Get Almost Anyone to Want to Sleep With You" at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

All in all.. it is going to be an amazing few weeks.

What can you do to fill your endless days while I am away ;) Well, read this blog or GirlClumsy's Better blog!

You must also go to this year's "Off the Cuff" Improvised Comedy Festival at the Powerhouse! Run by ImproMafia this event will show the talent of some of the funniest people from Brisbane, Australia and the World!




Book as early as possible to get seats for these shows. They are going to be amazing and I am very jealous I will not be in the country to perform in them!

So you have impro awesomeness to watch and a couple of blogs to read. GirlClumsy are taking a laptop on our trek this time so we should be able to keep you all updated as we travel. GC tells me that video blogs are the communication de jour.. we shall see!

Happy Trails to everyone...

My thoughts are with the people and the furry people who need them now

"The Truth" is here!

He's Back!

Returning this weekend in a blue box and blue suit...



The Doctor!

and I am jiggly with excitement!

...and this isn't an April Fool's Day prank

The Truth