Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Cleanliness or Assault?

If you have read girlclumsy`s latest post you would have been surprised by a tale that seems to be ripped from the script of a softcore porno... all soapy female chests and airline stewardesses!

If you haven,t read it then have a look now... off you go... titillation and suggestive prose awaits!

Okay.. you`re back? such filth, hey? ;)

Well, gentle reader, let me enlighten you on what was happening on the other side of the wall in the male Hamman.

On the plus side i didnt have to go alone... 5 males of the intrepid tour braved the cleansing... of our bodies but not our souls!

Firstly we qre told to strip down to our underwear... no swimmers allowed. I unfortunately was wearing, for the first time, a pair of white yfronts. We all know what happens at a wet tshirt costume when the ladies wear white? Thank god these pair were thick and new.
We are lead into a white tiled room full of naked or semi naked men and told to sit.

No sooner had my buttocks hit the warm tiles i was drenched in hot water by lanky, wiry, septugenarian wielding a huge bucket.

He kneels next to me as i splutter and choke and rolls me onto my front. "what, no flowers, no dinner" i think as he starts pumelling, stretching and roughly kneading every limb and muscle group. He twists my knee and pulls on my elbow and i really think this guy would give Triple H a run for his money in a Cage Wrestling Match. He then slaps my thigh very hard. This is my cue to roll over and let him start again on my front. I dont know whether to laugh or cry so i kinda do both.

Then i get drenched again... i think he does this to keep me off guard and choke me so i cant get enough oxygen to escape.

He grabs a loofah and soap and proceeds to exfoliate 25 layers of skin and implant soap shards deep into my fat tissues.

He even bruised my hair when he washed it

Finally he drowned me again with his herculean bucket and then smiled at me as if we were best friends. I was too scared to do anything but smile back, or maybe Stockholm Syndrome had set in...i even tipped him 5 Dirhams for the assault!

All up, counting tip, this grievous bodily harm cost me 55 Dirhams (about 9 AUD)... and i didnt get to see any perky maroccon stewardess booby either! The only thing to cheer me up was the fact that 2 of the other guys from the tour had it tougher than me. They were twisted into pretzel shapes and had their spines bent backwards nearly double! ha! that will teach them to be small underweight metrosexuals!

all in all it was an experience... but so is being mugged.

The funny thing is I am planning on doing it all again later in the trip but pay MORE for it. I hear they will butter me with oils and cover me in mud for my sins. So if you dont hear from me then i will be found in a million years by aliens buried deep in maroccon mud.


Anonymous said...

dude! whats going on?! there i was, happily reading along about the hot, naked lesbian air hostessess gettin jiggy with each other in the steam room, and then u have to go spoil it by throwing out the mental picture of u bopping around in your y-fronts!!! not cool!

(bring ur boy a present - namely, one of those hostessess, or at least the videos...)

glad ur having a pain-free, uber fun time! peace out playa!


Anonymous said...

jeebus, help me....nekked know I'd bathe you for free....

Kath said...

Y-fronts... Greg I really didn't need to know that, honestly!

The Wah said...

i,d like to point out that the whole y_fronts thing was a necessity buy from a scottish supermarket just before Marocco! i hate the damn things

Kath said...

I always thought you were more a high cut bikini brief man really...

Anonymous said...

it was most definitely NOT a good idea to have lunch at the computer seeing as G and his scottish underpants is still an active topic!! (dont think we'll be eating for quite some time yet!)



The Wah said...

you all love it...

feel the power of a fully operational Wah-Crotch!

Anonymous said...


I think its clear to see G has had a nasty blow to the head during his moroccan adventure! (no rude jokes thank u, G!)...


Kath said...

Keep your Wah-wang to yourself, squid man!

Anonymous said...

You just became a star in Morocco!

Thanks Wah!