Saturday, May 02, 2009

How to stop Swine Flu Infection

I thought I should give a public announcement on how best to stop the spread of Swine Flu. Hopefully this will quell some of the crazy panic I have seen on this issue

1. Wash your hands every time you go to the toilet (this is common-sense 101, people!


2. Use a tissue every time you cough or sneeze. Dispose of tissue hygienically.

3. Avoid touching your nose or mouth... your sweet sensuous mouth (no.. stop it! leave it alone!)

4. If you see an infected person cut off their head or destroy the brain. I repeat, remove the head or destroy the brain

Wait... is that Swine Flu or Zombies... hmmm


Either way, I have my Medical Issue Shotgun and Anti-Swine Flu Axe, a truck full of tinned food and an impregnable bolt hole to weather the crisis.

Those of you that I deem useful will be contacted soon. The rest of you are on your own!

Be Alert, Not Alarmed.. and swing for the neck!

5 comments:

Sleepydumpling said...

That would be the aporkalypse.

And you know what the cure is? Oinkment!

The Wah said...

That's it.. you're off my list!

There will be no pun-ing in NWO (New Wah Order)

:)

Anonymous said...

You sir are a sad, mad, WAH

Who, hopefully, will never be let out without a minder

The Ancient Man

Anonymous said...

I am not all comforted in the knowledge that he who aspires to lead the New Wah Order is mad as a cut snake. Cute as a button but you know...mad. Perfect attributes for a dictator. :)

TS

Anonymous said...

About bloody time you did a post!!!